The big reveal

How do you tell people you’re pregnant?

It’s really hard actually. I worry that people will judge me, that they’ll be weird about it. Mostly they have been great so far but that’s because we’ve just been telling close friends and family. That being said, I’m bad at big secrets, especially when the secret is mine. I feel like I’m betraying people by not telling them, I want to tell people, but I don’t.

We decided not to tell most people until we get the results of our first trimester scans back. I’ve been nervous for a while about my age and the possibilities of chromosomal abnormalities, having a degree in genetics really doesn’t help with this. Not telling people makes me feel weird and isolated though. People at work have commented how I don’t seem to be very excited about my engagement. Of course I’m not, it pales in comparison to the pregnancy, but they don’t know that. I so badly want to talk about the pregnancy, to get more feedback about my fears and anxieties and just not to have to keep it a secret. But I know I really really don’t want to have to tell everyone about a miscarriage or worse yet, a medical abortion.

My best friend is funny. I told him and my other best friend in Sydney via a quick phone call from the airport. He’s so excited he keeps messaging me on Gchat every few days just saying something like “OMG you’re preggers!!!” This can pop up on my screen at work at quite inconvenient times! I’m worried someone will see it who shouldn’t! It’s pretty cute though, and interesting that he’s still processing it as well.

So where I’m at now is that I want people to know, but I don’t want to tell them and go through all of the excitement, fussing and possibly judginess behind my back. If I could insert the knowledge into people’s heads, I think I would do that. It would save some angst. We would like to announce the news to our friends at our engagement party, but unless we get cracking and organise one soon, that won’t happen. I have no idea how I will tell work people. Maybe in dribs and drabs the way I did with the engagement. We’ll see.

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