The big reveal

How do you tell people you’re pregnant?

It’s really hard actually. I worry that people will judge me, that they’ll be weird about it. Mostly they have been great so far but that’s because we’ve just been telling close friends and family. That being said, I’m bad at big secrets, especially when the secret is mine. I feel like I’m betraying people by not telling them, I want to tell people, but I don’t.

We decided not to tell most people until we get the results of our first trimester scans back. I’ve been nervous for a while about my age and the possibilities of chromosomal abnormalities, having a degree in genetics really doesn’t help with this. Not telling people makes me feel weird and isolated though. People at work have commented how I don’t seem to be very excited about my engagement. Of course I’m not, it pales in comparison to the pregnancy, but they don’t know that. I so badly want to talk about the pregnancy, to get more feedback about my fears and anxieties and just not to have to keep it a secret. But I know I really really don’t want to have to tell everyone about a miscarriage or worse yet, a medical abortion.

My best friend is funny. I told him and my other best friend in Sydney via a quick phone call from the airport. He’s so excited he keeps messaging me on Gchat every few days just saying something like “OMG you’re preggers!!!” This can pop up on my screen at work at quite inconvenient times! I’m worried someone will see it who shouldn’t! It’s pretty cute though, and interesting that he’s still processing it as well.

So where I’m at now is that I want people to know, but I don’t want to tell them and go through all of the excitement, fussing and possibly judginess behind my back. If I could insert the knowledge into people’s heads, I think I would do that. It would save some angst. We would like to announce the news to our friends at our engagement party, but unless we get cracking and organise one soon, that won’t happen. I have no idea how I will tell work people. Maybe in dribs and drabs the way I did with the engagement. We’ll see.

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Pregnant… in Paris

The name of this blog is a bit of a giveaway. Paris was where I got my first convincing positive pregnancy test result.

I already suspected I might be pregnant before we left for our holiday. My breasts were sore and that was entirely new to me. I’m used to them being fairly inert, so tenderness was a bit of a giveaway. I’d also done two previous pregnancy tests but not really had much in the way of results.

In Paris on the other hand, the stripe was clear and dark. It was the first full day of our holiday and I was knocked up! Astonishingly for the first time in my life, I’d actually bothered to record the dates of my last period so I could calculate how far along I was (4 weeks).

The pregnancy was planned, but happened unexpectedly quickly. We’d only been trying for two months. One piece of very good luck is that my close friend Tanya was visiting Paris at the same time as us. Tanya was pregnant with her second child, so of course I told her and then picked her brain.

I bought my first things for the baby in Paris, a Le Petit Prince spoon and bowl.

I also did some reading, but didn’t have time to do a whole lot of research (or thinking) because of the holiday. This was a good thing in many ways as it stopped me from getting overly anxious about things. I was moderately careful about what I ate (fortunately I don’t like most of the forbidden foods and I don’t drink so it wasn’t much of a hardship).

In terms of symptoms, other than the breast soreness there wasn’t much to begin with. I did get a head cold on our second day in Paris but other than that and a bit of tiredness I was feeling ok. But what a place to find out!